Institutions like ComputerShare may read this and I am now aware people employed at companies like ComputerShare can not read very fast.
I will also try and refrain from using large words as the average IQ of individuals employed here, in my opinion, is not very far from a garden fork.
Yes.
Now! - I am angry.
So angry, I could scold a horse.
You see, ComputerShare owes me money.
Alot of it.
They paid it into an incorrect account – apparently – on the 31st March 2016. I called in and Brenda, who has the telephonic etiquette of a squashed mango – apologised and promised it would be in my account the following day (Apology and promise #1).
Nice one Brenda. April Fools.
I called in again and was told by two call centre agents that the company has no money. “You mean Bankrupt?” I asked? – and both times the agent dropped the call.
I mailed in and spoke to Todani Ndanduleni– a delightful chap who realised ComputerShare’s error and assured me via e-mail that I would receive my money within 48 hours (Apology and promise #2).
Two days later – nothing.
I mailed Tondani again and was told that ComputerShare had created yet another problem (Apology and promise #3). He asked for me to contact a banking institution they paid the funds into and try and sort out their problem. I tried this and after several hours both the Bank and I gave up. We could find no trace of any money.
I contacted their Head Office and was told that the matter would be investigated (Apology and promise #4) by Marie Steyn and Edna Lebeko.
I contacted their Social Media websites and was told that they would investigate the matter (Apology and promise #5).
I contacted ComputerShare again on Day 6 of not receiving my funds. I asked to speak directly to a manager. I had taken off from work, tackled banks on ComputerShare agent requests, spent hours on the phone trying to help them resolve their error (I called in at my own expense because they stated that they could not return my call)– and now wanted to speak to someone who could actually do something about paying me my money.
I spoke to Mtho (Mthokozisi Mkhize). Mtho promised to return my call after investigating the matter – and did. He emailed confirmation that my money would be paid in on Day 8 (Apology and promise #6).
And so here we are – a few minutes away from Day 9.
Mtho has gone silent and isn’t responding to my calls or e-mails. Edna and Marie have decided to have an extra long lunch. Tondani is missing in action. In fact, everyone’s gone awol.
I went as far as calling and e-mailing ComputerShare’s African regional office in the UK – and even they are silent.
Now – I know this isn’t the United States of America where one could sue willy-nilly for anything. But, man o man – there must be some law or something that prohibits a financial institution from providing you with your own money? I know for a fact that if I owed them money, they’d surgically remove it from your left underarm pit if they could.
Perhaps I shouldn’t look at them as Bankers though.
But it is a financial institution for Pete’s sake... Perhaps Wankers would be more appropriate.
...oh wait! I just received an e-mail from Mtho: ‘if not today, tomorrow’.
Yep.
Welcome to South Africa where corporations are allowed to say F*ck You! to a customer and get away with it.
