Where's my Pineapple?

As a kid, I often asked questions no one would answer. For example, after seeing a pic of the numero uno duo - I’d ask “Why do Adam and Eve have belly buttons? They weren’t born” or “Why do I have to live here on Earth for Adam and Eve’s disobedience?” or “Why don’t they enter the dirt lorry guys into the Olympics? Those guys run behind trucks all day hoisting heavy containers – and whistle while doing it!” and I’d get a beautifully worded ripostes that went along the lines “tuck in your shirt and stop asking dumb questions, you daffidol!”.

But over the years, these questions became more complex. Like “If what Paul wrote is true and it is appointed for all man to die ONCE and thereafter Judgement, is Lazarus still alive? Or “Before The Big Bang, before Time, Space and Matter – there was no light, no dark, no sense of space. What was there?” It didn’t just end there. I didn’t focus primarily on religious texts. My interest was science – physics specifically. And as I grew older, my brain became a sponge, assimilating terabytes of information, processing, cross referencing, analysing and calculating. With all this brain activity, my short term memory took a beating.

Often when my better half (I call her The Minister of Finance – she deals with money matters. I’m useless when it comes to anything cash related) – sends me to do something, I end up doing something completely stupid. Yesterday for example, she asked me to buy milk at the local store. I leap at any opportunity to ride my bike and savour the false freedom associated with it. I got to the grocer, completely forgot why I was sent there, saw pineapples were on sale, guessed I was sent for that and came home with a crumbled till slip. I left the pineapple at the checkout point. I went back to the shop, got the milk from the fridge, retrieved my forgotten pineapple and was about to pay when I realised I’d left my wallet at home.

 “Man was given a Choice”, any religious finger pointing suit wearing reverend would say. But shortly afterward he would say “Never question the Bible”. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. The Bible is a collection of scripture, spiritually inspired, but written by man. So is the Torah, Telmud, Quran, etc. It’s written by man. Man. The first task given to us, we messed up royally! A simple command: “Don’t eat from that tree” we obliterated.

However, I’m happy to conclude that though I’ve found answers to many of these questions, more beckon. For example –

-Adam and Eve were created, therefore they didn’t have navels. However, when they were cast from paradise (not heaven btw), the navel became a sign of sin.

- Every time I give in to temptation, like Adam and Eve, I am eating from that tree.

- I won't comment on the Lazarus bit just yet. I'll do that later.

- before the Big Bang, there was nothing. But our limited minds can’t grasp it. There was no colour, no big emptiness, nothing that we can relate to on a physical level. Chaos. Hence the Verse “Let There Be Light!”. In other words “Let there be order! Let things make sense! Let there be rules that govern this reality!” The Sun only came along later.

- Question All religious documents. Question Everything. Man was given a choice. To choose, one must decide. To decide, one must reason. To reason, one must question.

So this is my first bit at displaying my findings. Whether you agree with it or not is your decision. However, I implore you to discover the answers to questions you’ve been wanting to know about. Don’t let it fester. Find it! Every religious text promotes wisdom. However, in our foolhardy way of life, man pursues knowledge. After all, it’s the Tree we ate from.

I didn’t get the milk by the way. The Finance Minister did.

And they won’t enter the dirt lorry guys into the Olympics because they smell of old bins and people don’t like that smell.  

-Daffidol